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ImpressionsYou wasted a lot of hours wondering, didn't you? Breaking the very pointless into the extremely pointless, and degrading the extremely to the impossibly. But I can assure you, that no matter how pointless those thoughts are, the action itself holds meaning. To reduce everything in this world to rubble is to understand the universe at a primal level.
At first, I feel inclined to regret it. To advise you not to do it. Yet, I know such a request would be superfluous and even counter-intuitive. After all, I know you like I know myself. I know that such a warning would not deter you, but riddle you with curiosity until making you shatter in one prolonged episode of moral depravity.
So I won't tell you to stop. In fact, I will tell you the opposite. Do it. Do it as quick as you can. As much as you can. As healthy as you can. The sooner you discover the truth that I wish I could have never known, the sooner you can get past it. The sooner you can accept it. Your life doesn't have to be
VoicesYou're one of the most fascinating people I know.
Really. It's true!
But that doesn't make you good. It doesn't make you right, either Maybe I'm not the person to make that call, since I don't really know what either of those things are; however, I'm confident they are not you.
You live a very ironic existence, don't you? Purposeless and apathetic. Only finding motivation in the petty and the depressing. And you wonder why you hate life. You've never lived a day of it. You watch other people live it, and you wish you had what they have But you can't. You can't ever be like them, can you?
See! That's why you're so interesting! Anybody different is met with curiosity. Anything that breaks the norm is a learning experience.
But some people are different and typical at the same time. They have these unique quirks about them that make them seem interesting on the first glance; but it is only upon close examination does one realize how typical they really are.
I have trouble with
Sewer ManIt felt instantaneous. As if I had gone to sleep normal, and woke up deranged. As if in a single moment, I had become what I am. I don't deny it, either my being deranged, that is. Any man, and I use the term "man" loosely, is deranged if they stray too far from the social focal point; and by God have I done that much!
It started as a fascination, grew to be an active interest, and eventually became what I recognize to be an obsession. I even remember the day that I completely regarded myself as obsessed or rather, deranged. I remember my insanity became so consuming that I submitted my humanity to it. Yes, that is why I use the term "man" loosely, because I often question if I am one.
To me, a "man" is one who thrives in social environments. There are odd balls, but even those who are troubled are still "man." However, sometimes you get these exceptions. You get these transgenders. These people who may or may not have social skills, just as a male in a female's body may
Note to SelfYou. Yes, you. This note has been written specifically to you and its contents are of the utmost importance.
Why should you trust me?
I am you from the future.
If you tell anyone this note exists, they either won't believe you or they won't understand the significance. The words will mean nothing to the stubborn and will be impossibly dilute to the gullible. You are alone in this.
I have written this to warn you.
In exactly thirteen minutes, you will die. You need to evacuate your home as quickly as possible. Once again, if you don't, you will die.
I don't have the time to explain the complex series of events that have led up to this moment, just realize that this is a matter of life and death for us both. Do not throw our life away. Please, get out immediately.
If you don't want to leave, AT LEAST turn on all the lights you can find. Then there is a chance it won't find you. A slim chance.
Before I end this message, I must stress what I said earlier: I am you from the future. I
SometimesI wish I could understand myself better.
I want to know what to do.
There is this constant feeling of lethargy crawling on my skin. There is this sudden and fleeting turmoil in my body. And no matter what I try, it never goes away.
Sometimes I'm depressed, other times not. Well, I'm always a little depressed, because that is just how it is. Depression seems to go hand in hand with confusion; at least, it does when you're confused about yourself. How could it not? We are the most important things in this universe.
The universe is seen through us, by us. By not understanding myself, by feeling this chaotic, lethargic, confusion, I'm not understanding the universe which is the most important thing in ourselves.
I've learned a lot through introspection and comparison. I give them credit for my pseudo-intellectualism. Pseudo-intellectualism being the title I dub my ability to appear far more intelligent than I actually am. Then again, I guess I could call it the same thing everybody
Maura Part 1
This story features obscene levels of weight gain. If that's not your thing, just move along. There's plenty of stuff elsewhere on the Internet to appeal to you.
I don't really believe telling my story will do any good, not when my only option is to throw it out into the morass of ephemera and would-be memes that is the Internet. Then again, the Internet isn't what it used to be, is it? Maybe I'm just writing this to ease my conscience. I feel like I have a lot to answer for, even if part of me rationalizes that my only fault was one bad decision made in a moment of frustration and little sleep.
Let's start at the beginning, because that's where things usually start. They're too afraid to start at the end because they don't want to die young. Excuse me. I haven't slept much the past few months.
It was in Des Moines. I grew up in rural Iowa, bottom of the middle class. Family wasn't rich enough to send me to a big-name college and my grades weren't good enough to get a sc
The GallonTitle: The Gallon
Fandom: Tiger & Bunny
Characters/Pairings: Kotetsu (Wild Tiger)
Warnings: belches and hiccuping
Summary: There's a gallon of milk obstructing the space in Kotetsu's fridge and to get rid of it, Kotetsu decides to drink it all.
Kotetsu had just come back from shopping. When he opened the door of his fridge his eyes immediately fell on a large gallon container of milk. How could they not? After all, the thing was taking up all of the top shelf, lying on its side. It had been planned that Kaede would be visiting for the weekend and Kotetsu hadn't wanted to have to run out to get milk every morning because they'd used it all up too quickly. So he'd tried to find a larger than usual quantity. However, all he could find was the usual small ones and the really large gallon containers which the parents of large families with four or five kids tended to buy. Kotetsu didn't usually need that much milk, but i
One Last Diaper " if you care for me like you say you do, then you'll meet me at Julien's " That was the last message Janine left on Lavinia's cell phone. It was the last of many such messages that Janine had left, none of which had yet been answered. As Janine walked nervously in the cold city streets, she wondered whether or not Lavinia would bother to listen to her this time.
Janine had been engaged for more than a year to her wonderful boyfriend, Jerome. At least, she thought he was wonderful; he had a chronic case of lateness, no matter what the function, and he absolutely hated romantic comedies (they were all the same, he complained). On the other hand, he shared Janine's unnatural affinity for hummus, and he wasn't at all averse to snuggling on the couch in front of the TV, no matter what movie was on. One night he called Janine and said he would walk her home from work, and as they stopped in front of a caf
Mandy TG"Mandy, you can't go out you have to go to the prom!" I scream.
"Whatever, nobody cares about grade seven prom." She retorts. Then she slams the door and walks out
I fume for a bit before I stomp up to my room.
Then, I hear her stupid ringtone go off. If i listen to it for more than thirty seconds my head explodes, so I darted forward into her room and looked at the caller ID, wondering if I could just hang up.
It was her boyfreind, Max. I put on a falsetto voie and awnser.
"Hey pumpkin." I say.
"Hey cutie."He replies. "You ready to go out tonight for the prom?" He asks. I think fast, Mandy probably sais she would go with Max then ditched and forgot to tell him.
"Sure." I say, might as well humilate Mandy.
"Cool, I'll be there in five." He replies. I hang up and sit doen on Mandy's bed, facing the closet. I remember one time she yelled a certain outfit and it appered on her floor, then she put it on. I don't know how she did it so I decided to try it.
"Prom!" I yell. Then I hear a robo
Secret Sauce 1WARNING: This story will contain scenes of overeating and massive amounts of weight gain. If that's not your thing, bow out now.
Deerglen was an upscale suburb of Star City, built during the tech-boom of the 90's but with more taste and discretion than the tumors of McMansions that appeared throughout Silicon Valley. A planned community, it was intended to be at one with nature, with the houses colored in Earth tones to blend into the oaks that grew there and the yards front and back spacious and devoid of fences.
But for Jill Crowe the houses could have been bright pink with yellow polka-dots, and the yards covered in coals that burned 24/7, and she would still be ecstatic. At only 26 the legal wunderkind had just made partner at Eggerton and Associates, the most prestigious law firm in the city. A massive bump in salary and a congratulatory bonus allowed her to not only pay off the last of her student loans but move up out of her month-by-month rent, ramen three times a week life.
Cheerleader Snoop Tg"Come on man, this is heaven." My freind Jake tempts.
"Dude if we get caught I heard the cheerleaders where ruthless." I reply.
"But the risk Is worth it!" he counters. I fianlly agree with him and we wait until school is over. When everyone leaves for home, we meet up outside of the girl's locker room. When the cheerleaders come to get changed we quickly pull out ipods and turn them on. The girls go in without comment. Jake smiles and I stay silent, we couldn't screw this up.
"OH NO!" A voice yells. I fight my urge to burst into the washroom and insead listen hard. "Vanessa Quit? We need a new girl then!" It continued. The door opens and the girls pile out in there uniforms, bickering.
"We can hold try-outs." One girl suggests.
"We already tried that before." Tina snaps. "All the girls in the school except us have no talent." There fights faded away around a corner. Jake waited until we heard a door slam, then sprang into the locker room. I follow silently. Jake barges in and spots a
Maura Part 2WARNING AGAIN
More weight gain, and even fatter woman now. Don't like that sort of thing, why are you here?
I woke up the next morning stiff and freezing. The sun was just now rising. I still felt tired, but I wasn't going to be able to go back to sleep. So I drove back to the freeway and headed back for the town where I had gotten the rental car from.
I didn't know what I was going to do. I figured it would be a day or two before Maura was discovered, and I wasn't sure how things would play out then. Whoever went there wouldn't be enslaved, but neither were they likely to do anything to stop what she was already doing.
Thinking it over as I drove, another idea occurred to me. I made a few phone calls to various news agencies, both in Des Moines and nationally, and gave them a tip that the FBI was about to move in on some suspected terrorists today.
Would any reporters be interested enough in following up on the tip? I hoped at least a couple would be, wanting to scoop the compe
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Birthday game.January: Play spin the bottle with
Febuary: Get Marry to
March: Find the elements of harmony with
April: Get massage by
May: Have a slumber Party with
June: Get killed by
July: Learn a lesson of friendship with
August: Duplicate a 100 copies of
September: Have _____ as your pet
October: Throw a party with
November: Eat a lot of pies with
December: Play 7 minutes of heaven with
1. Derpy Hooves
4. Queen chrysalis
9. Flim (The one without the mustache)
10. Rainbow dash
11. Babs Seed
12. Pinkie Pie
13. Granny Smith
14. Princess Luna
15. crazy Fluttershy (From "The Best Night Ever")
16. Big Mac
17. Flam (The one with the mustache)
19. Vinyl Scratch
21. Princess Cadence
23. Twilight Sparkle
25. Crazy Twilight (From "Lesson Zero"
27. The Great and Powerful Trixie
29. Crazy Pinkie pie (From "Party of one")
30. Shining armor
31. Princess Celestia
Phineas and Ferb and Gravity Falls: Birthday gameJust compare your Birthday with these to see what you will do on your next birthday
January- Take over the Tri-state area with....
Febuary- Name a Platapus....
March- Solve a mystery with....
April- Get hit by a deathinator by...
May- Have backyard beach party with....
June- Spend the night at the mystery shack with...
July- Get punch in the face by...
August- Fell in love with...
September- Build a wax figure of...
October- Get Rejected by
November- Star a TV show with
December- Get kidnapped by gnomes with...
7th. Rumble McSkirmish
9th. Major Monogram
10th. Paperjam Dipper
16th. Manly Dan
17th. Ducky Momo
19th. Giant floating Baby head